Much Ado About Everything
by Carlo Santos
Summary: Voldemort is gone, but drama still abounds as Hermione loses her temper at Harry and incurs his fury. It's up to Ron, Dean, and Seamus to save the day. HH inspired by Shakespeare.
1. Prologue: Notes & Dramatis Personae

Note by Dean Thomas  
This story features mostly common English, but the chapters are acts arranged in Shakespearean fashion. In a Shakespearean play, there are five acts. Act I is the exposition, in which we meet the characters and learn the general setting and situation. Act II features the narrative hook or inciting conflict. Act III is supposed to be the climax in which a decision is made that decides whether the story will have a good or bad ending, though the tension may increase from that point on. Act IV has what is termed as falling action by Shakespearean standards, but the tension may again still increase. Act V is the conclusion, which includes a cementing of a relationship (often by marriage) or a reconciliation or both. A death, though, is also a possibility.

Setting: Hogwarts, June 1998

_Dramatis Personae_  
Ron Weasley, Gryffindor 7th year and prefect  
Dean Thomas, Gryffindor 7th year  
Seamus Finnigan, Gryffindor 7th year  
Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, Gryffindor 7th year and Quidditch captain  
Hermione Granger, Head Girl, Gryffindor 7th year  
Lavender Brown, Gryffindor 7th year  
Parvarti Patil, Gryffindor 7th year  
Ginny Weasley, Gryffindor 6th year  



	2. Act I: A Horrible Mistake

Author's Note: This story is also inspired by Nobody Knows, another piece of Harry Potter fanfiction that may or may not have been removed. Also, I own no trademarks related to Harry Potter or Shakespeare.

One week after Voldemort had been vanquished, you'd think everything was starting to straighten out again, right? Unfortunately, no.

One morning, Harry's gang had gathered—interestingly, _sans_ Harry and Hermione.  
"Hermione lost her temper again!" Ginny was saying. "This time, she let it out on Harry for no apparent reason! I passed by them in the hall this morning to find them reminiscing over Sirius. Then Hermione exploded all of a sudden and said something that I couldn't make out, but it sure sounded dreadful! You should have seen it—Hermione walking away with her nose in the air while Harry was looking devastated!"  
"No way!" Dean said. "What in the world is wrong with her?"  
"Don't ask me." Ginny said in a frustrated tone with her hands on her hips. "I thought we had talked to Hermione enough about toning down the stuck-up Head Girl stuff, especially when it's not about correcting someone!"  
"I know!" Lavender said just as angrily. "I'm going to really let Hermione let her how much she's been fouling up. I mean it!"  
"Me too!" Parvarti said. Both of them moved towards the marble staircase.  
"No!" Ron said, flinging an arm out to stop them.

Everyone was startled. Of all the people they expected to be stopping people from blasting Hermione, they would never have imagined Ronald Weasley being one, even after it had become common knowledge among them that Ron and Hermione had fancied each other.  
"What are you doing, Ron?" Lavender asked irritably, voicing our thoughts. Parvarti and Ginny also looked incensed. "I thought you'd be leading us up those steps instead of holding us back!" Dean and Seamus looked stunned and unable to decide whether to side with Ron or the girls.  
"You're not going to go up there and blast her face to face, are you?" Ron asked timidly. It took a considerable amount of self-control to prevent myself from whipping out my wand and threatening to jinx him.  
"Why are you asking?" Lavender said, her voice still menacing.  
"I just don't think this is the right time for it!" Ron said, almost in a pleading tone.  
"No, we aren't." Lavender said with an evil grin. "Something worse."  
And before we guys could say anything else, they were jogging up the marble stairs.  
"I don't like the look of it." Ron said, looking at the others.  
"Me neither." Dean said. "The only people I remember having that sort of evil grin were Fred and George."  
Ron started to move towards the stairs as well.  
"Oy, Ron, where are you going?" Ron asked, concerned.  
"Just to Defense Against The Dark Arts." Ron said, earnestly.

When he got to the classroom, he found Harry there, looking seriously depressed. Upon spotting him, he was suddenly filled with a sudden urge to ask him about what he had heard that he couldn't resist. **I have to know the truth**, he thought.  
"Hey, Harry." he said.  
"Hi, Ron." Harry answered.  
"You okay?" Ron asked.  
"Not what anyone would call 'okay'." Harry replied.  
"What's going on?" Ron said, choosing his words carefully. "I heard about more trouble with Hermione this morning. Is that true?"  
Harry looked up at him with a palpable expression of sadness and anger written on his features.  
"Yeah." He answered. "We were talking about...I don't remember what we talked about because it hurts so much. But I was being perfectly polite, and all of a sudden we were having a fight that I didn't start!" He finished in a downright hurt voice.  
"Come off it!" Ron said, trying to keep his voice down lest Hermione discover them.  
"Yes! And then once I let her breathe, she wouldn't stop! If this was a verbal fight, then I was someone getting kicked while I was down! I honestly think being Head Girl is fouling her up, because she never admits she's wrong to anyone except the teachers now!"  
"Come off it!" Ron said again, even louder.  
"Oh, yes, she did!" Harry fired back. "Hang on, quiet…"  
He had suddenly recovered himself enough to alert me to something and quiet Ron down. It was Hermione coming towards them.  
Over the past few years, her hair had become more well-done and her face had become better-looking as well. Now, though, because all she did was look a long dagger at a downcast Harry as if to rub it in, Ron had scarcely seen a more despicable sight. He found himself having to struggle to maintain an even expression.  
"I can't believe this." He said disgustedly. He had to almost force himself to lower his voice and said, "Don't let her bring you down, okay?"  
Anger at Hermione got the better of him almost right then and there, and he had to bite his lip once or twice to let off steam. The last thing he thought before he went into the room after the other people in the class had joined them was **I hope Lavender, Parvarti, and Ginny can hammer some sense into Hermione.**


	3. Act II: Backlash

The next evening, Harry's group, and especially Harry, had bigger things to worry about than Hermione, if only momentarily. Harry had been increasingly considered for the English Quidditch squad that would travel to that summer's World Cup in Japan, and so he had been named to England's U-21 squad to face Germany at Hogwarts.  
On top of Harry being called up, it was something of a homecoming for some of the English players as to the delight of Harry and the rest of Gryffindor House, England was also featuring 3 of Harry's teammates on the squad that won the school Quidditch Cup in 1994—Oliver Wood, Angelina Johnson, and Katie Bell.  
Maybe that was why the English looked so much like a well-oiled machine. It even got to the point that Harry didn't have to beat the German Seeker to the Snitch to win it, but he tossed in a move that would be known around Hogwarts as the Potter Feint—instead of feigning seeing the Snitch and making a dive (the Wronski Feint) Harry made his fake right through a bunch of Chasers, Bludgers, and Beaters—before catching it.  
Euphoria thus reigned in the Gryffindor common room that night with Harry, Wood, Angelina, and Katie being surrounded by Dean, Seamus, and a slew of Gryffindors.  
"So that's how you won it all with your own squad, eh?" Angelina said. Gryffindor had reclaimed the Quidditch Cup that final year, and Harry was telling her, Wood, and Katie the story of that season.  
Looking around, Ron spotted Hermione off to one side, smiling slightly at Harry but looking anxious. Ron found himself thinking, **Did what Lavender, Parvarti, and Ginny do to her actually work?**  
After a few minutes, she approached him.  
"Um, Harry…" She said, timidly.  
Harry did not move, but he fell silent. Ron could only bring himself to think one thought: **Uh-oh.**  
"I just wanted to tell you…" She continued, still almost petrified.  
Harry turned his head to look at her. His look was simply one intense drilling stare of sorrow and fury—so drilling, in fact, that tears were already welling up in Hermione's eyes. Ron could feel himself shudder.  
"Now you know how I felt." He said in a dangerous voice.  
Hermione nodded. She tried to run for the safety of her dorm, but she didn't make it two steps before collapsing in a heap on the floor, crying and unable to contain loud sobs. The room suddenly got so quiet that were it not for Hermione, you could have heard a pin drop onto one of the tables. Everybody in the room but Harry, from Ron to Angelina, looked shocked.  
She remained down for about the longest 15 to 20 seconds before she managed to drag herself up, still wailing at full blast. The eyes of the other Gryffindors followed her as she rushed up the stairs to the girls' dormitories only to fall before getting up and running up again.  
Ron was the first to recover his voice. "Harry, I think you overdid it." He said cautiously and nervously.  
"I overdid it? You're the one who overdid it after her cat was harassing your rat!" Harry shouted.  
All Ron could do was look from the stairs to the girls' dorms and back at Harry with his mouth open in an expression of mingled shock and fear.  
The next morning, Ron met with Dean and Seamus to tell them what had happened. Dean was so rattled by what he saw after Ron allowed him to peek into his mind and see it via Legilimency that he staggered back and almost lost his footing.

"Oh, God." Dean said weakly. Tilting his head back up so that he was looking at Ron, he added, "I tell you, he was looking at her so hard that he could have burned a hole through her shirt!"  
"I know!" Seamus said, looking just as shocked.  
Dean also looked just as jolted. "There goes a friend." He said morosely.  
"That's not what scares me the most." Ron said earnestly.  
"What are you talking about?" Seamus asked curiously.  
"Dean, Seamus, I'm scared that if Harry doesn't bury the hatchet soon, he'll lose not only a good friend, but his special lass as well." Ron answered.

Dean and Seamus both started.  
"Is this why you asked Lavender, Parvarti, and Ginny if they were going to blast Hermione?" Dean asked.  
"Yes!" Ron said. "Harry and Hermione fancy each other!"  
Dean and Seamus went off.  
"I can't believe it!" Dean shouted.  
"Where's the proof of that?" Seamus demanded.  
"I've never told anyone else this, but Hermione kissed Harry on Platform 9 ¾ at the end of our 4th year—and gave him a loving look, too!" Ron said, grinning momentarily as he no doubt imagined their surprise.  
"Amazing!" Dean yelled.  
"Holy Mother of God." Seamus said very weakly.  
Ron wasn't done yet. He continued to present his evidence enthusiastically. "And that's not all! It was Harry's idea to save Hermione from that troll in our first year! Also, I cannot recall Harry saying something bad about Hermione even when she wasn't being her nicest, and that's saying at lot! And all those times she tried to stop Harry from doing dangerous things—what if it was just because she didn't want Harry to get hurt?"  
"Yeah, what if?" Dean said. "That would be unbelievable!"  
"Won't Harry make up with Hermione on his own or vice versa, though?" Seamus asked."  
"I hate to say this, but I don't think so because Harry probably still thinks that Hermione's still acting stuck-up. I watched them shortly in Charms this morning, and Harry was still giving Hermione hard looks while Hermione was keeping her head up. I think it's because she's trying to maintain that strong Head Girl image to the end, but I'm scared that Harry's going to interpret it as her being unrepentant about what she said." Ron replied, looking more grave than ever.  
"Now that you mention it, I remember seeing that this morning when I saw you heading out of the room." Dean said.  
The three of them just stood there for a few seconds trying to fathom the long odds against Harry and Hermione getting back together.  
"Not good. Definitely not good." Ron said, knowing he was making the biggest understatement possible.


	4. Act III: Desperation & Hope

"Night, Harry." Ron said.  
"Night, Ron." Harry replied.  
It was nighttime after what had been a hard day for Ron, Dean, and Seamus as well as Hermione. That fact made Ron glad to be in bed, safe from an outburst from what he considered a volatile Harry for another night.

Suddenly, though, Ron found that he could not sleep. Every time he tried to nod off, he kept hearing a loud, sorrowful wail resonating all the way up into the dormitory.  
**Must be Moaning Myrtle…**Ron thought, tossing and turning.  
Five minutes passed. No luck.  
**That does it**, Ron thought. **I'm going to see what it's about. I wonder if Dean and Seamus want to come…**  
He crept as silently as he could to the side of Dean's four-poster.  
"Oy, Dean—" Ron hissed.  
"What?" Dean said groggily.  
"Can you sleep because of that wailing?" Ron asked.  
"No, I ruddy well can't." Dean replied.  
"Do you want to find out what it's about?" Ron asked.  
"Yeah, let's go see." Dean answered, hauling himself out of bed. "Let's just get our wands and then see if Seamus wants to come along."  
Once they had gotten their wands, Ron asked Seamus the same set of questions.  
"Oy, Seamus—"  
"Yes?" Seamus said into his pillow.  
"Can you sleep because of that wailing?"  
"Certainly not."  
"Do you want to find out what it's about?"  
"Yeah."  
"Okay, take as much time as you need. Dean's already up. Bring your wand just in case."

Soon, the three of them had crept down the stairs into the common room.  
"No sign of where that crying's coming from down here." Dean said.  
"You're right…sounds like it's coming from here." Ron said. He had started to move towards the stairs leading to the girls' dormitories.  
"Are you sure?" Dean asked uneasily.  
Seamus walked up beside Ron, stopped momentarily, and turned around to tell Dean, "I think he's right."  
Dean stood there for a moment but then followed Ron up the stairs with Seamus at his heels. As they ascended, the wailing grew louder and louder until at last it peaked as they passed by a door near the top of the tower.

"Looks like we ought to look in here." Ron said. "Do you know how we can find out who it is?  
"Yeah." Seamus said. "Could I get through?  
Dean allowed him past. Seamus crouched to give Dean a better view, pointed his wand at the door and said quietly, _"Decouvra."_  
The next instant, Dean bent closer to the door while Ron watched standing up. All three of their mouths were hanging open.

"My God." Seamus managed to say.  
"I should have known." Ron said.  
Hermione was perched on the front of her four-poster. Beside her sat Lavender, Parvarti, and Ginny. Each of the girls was in a nightdress…except Hermione.  
**Still in her underwear…**Ron observed. **I tell you what, Weasley, she'd be a real sight for sore eyes…if she wasn't crying her eyes out again. **He told himself mentally to keep himself serious. He also noticed that Lavender, Parvarti, and Ginny were trying to cheer Hermione up by arguing that Harry could turn merciful. No such luck. Hermione's sobs went on and on as Ron, Dean, and Seamus could see tears cascading down her face and neck into her bra or falling onto her slender legs unless she wiped her eyes.  
"Ron, let's go." Dean moaned. "I don't know how much more of this I can take. This is worse than last night!"  
Neither Ron nor Seamus was in any mood to argue. Five minutes later, they were off the stairs.

The three of them only got as far as the common room before Ron spoke after soundproofing the room with some spells so that no one could hear them without entering the room and Hermione's crying didn't reach them.  
"You lads, we've got to do something!" He said frantically, turning back to them. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say she's on the brink of killing herself over hurting Harry like this!"  
"No, she wouldn't!" Dean said, horrorstruck.  
"Or would she?" Seamus said, also looking scared.  
"Oh, yeah…" Dean said, going silent as he recognized that not only might a romance be in trouble, but also a life. "What **can** we do to get them back together, though?" He asked half-frantically, half-helplessly.  
"I dunno, Dean, but I'm not going to let this go without thinking of an answer to that!" Ron said determinedly. He began to pace the floor, thinking, **I am not going to just watch what could be between Harry and Hermione die if I can help it!**

"Wait a minute!" Dean exclaimed, leaping up and startling the trio. I've got an idea—Shakespeare!"  
"What?" Seamus asked. Then, as comprehension dawned on him, he said, "Hang on, that might really work! I've read some of his plays!"  
"Who's Shakespeare?" Ron asked, puzzled.  
"William Shakespeare was probably the greatest poet and playwright—either wizard or Muggle—the world has known. He wrote these powerful scenes featuring people in situations like the one Harry and Hermione are in—with happy endings. Perhaps we could look there for a few well-chosen words to help them make up and possibly more." Dean said.  
"It's certainly worth a try, Dean." Ron said, grinning weakly at him as a glimmer of hope for Harry and Hermione beginning to make itself visible again to him. "Tell you what—be ready to explain yourself in more detail this evening after dinner. Let's meet where the old D.A. room was."  
"Right." Dean said.  
"Nice one, Dean." Seamus said. "Now please try to be quiet when we get back to the dormitory, because Hermione left me close to the end of my rope."  
"Do you think you were alone?" Dean asked.

That evening, after dinner, Ron managed to shake Harry and meet Dean and Seamus outside the Room of Requirement.  
"Uh, Ron, we'd have been in the room, but we couldn't because there was no door. What's going on?"  
In two minutes, Ron explained the Room of Requirement to Dean and Seamus.  
"So that's how it works!" Dean and Seamus said almost together. Ron nodded.  
"Right, I think I know what to do…" Dean said, and he stepped forward and began pacing up and down the hall, evidently concentrating and thinking hard.  
When the door reappeared, Seamus held open the door for Ron and Dean before following them inside.

"Whoa." Dean said as he took in the surroundings.  
The Room was now a large amphitheater with marble benches, a view of the night sky, and a fine, spacious wooden stage. Just below the stage in front of the first row sat a finely crafted wooden cart crammed full of Shakespeare works.  
"Are you finding what you need, Dean?" Ron asked.  
"Yeah. The scene that I think could help us comes out of one of his plays, Much Ado About Nothing. Let's see if I can find us some copies..." He searched the book cart for a minute and said, "Got it!" He began flipping through one of the copies, saying, "Now, Lavender said that she, Ginny, and Parvarti got Hermione to talk—or at least try to talk—" He said, correcting himself quickly, "—to Harry by letting her hear a conversation very much like a scene in here where this woman named Beatrice is told that Benedick, a man she hates, loves her, so that got me thinking that we could draw on this. Ah, yes, here's the scene…""What's it about?" Ron asked eagerly.  
"It's the scene where Benedick is told that Beatrice loves him when he overhears a conversation between Don Pedro—he's the matchmaker in the story—and two of his friends, Claudio and Leonato." Dean answered, before adding, "Oh, sorry for not mentioning this earlier, but when I say that this scene could help us, I mean it could help if…"  
Ron found a grin spreading over his face as he finished, "If we actually performed it?"  
"You took the words right out of my mouth!" Dean said in mock anger. Returning to his normal voice, he said, "Neither of you have problems with that, do you?"  
"Definitely not." Ron and Seamus said fervently together.

"Right. Let's start by tailoring this script to fit Harry and Hermione's situation. Sitting down, he pulled out his wand and quill and sat down beside one of the three rolls of parchment that had appeared onstage out of nowhere as he had spoken. "Let's certainly change 'was in love' to 'is in love' and cut out Benedick's lines stuck in the middle…"  
Ron's eyes had quickly scanned his roll of parchment and to his surprise, his eyes acted as if they were trained to read Shakespearean English as well as common English. "And cut out each of Claudio's lines that resemble 'bait the hook well, this fish will bite'. We don't want him to think we're lying." Ron said.  
"Good point." Dean said. "But let's leave in 'Stalk on, stalk on, the fowl sits' as my signal to continue."  
It was the work of ten or fifteen minutes to edit the lines. Once that task was finished, Dean let out a sigh and said, "I wish we could copy this script quickly."  
"Not a problem." Seamus said. He pulled out his wand but then said, "Hang on, have you written our names into that yet?  
"Er, no." Dean said. "Do you think we should just each take a character's lines or should we do something else?"  
"Let me see." Seamus said, stretching out his hand. Dean handed him the parchment script. After two minutes, he had assigned the lines. After writing their names into the script in place of Claudio's, Don Pedro's, and Leonato's names, he flicked his wand at the script's final draft and then flicked it at the other scripts, saying, _"Duplicio!"_  
Ron and Dean picked up the other two scripts to see what had happened to them. To their astonishment, we saw that they were each exact copies of the final draft.  
"Well played." Ron said, whistling and grinning at him.  
"Thanks." Seamus replied. Then, anticipating what Ron and Dean would ask next, he said, "It doesn't work on library books. Call it copyrighting by charms."  
"I should have known." Ron replied.  
"How did you assign these lines, Seamus?" Dean asked. "I can see I've got lines from Don Pedro's and Claudio's parts…"  
Seamus was prepared for that question. "I looked over that script and did think that each of us could take a role and work from there, but then I had an idea saying, 'What if we took lines based on how we reacted to this story about Harry and Hermione over the past few days?'"

Ron looked over his script. "I see what you mean. Well done."  
Dean looked up as well. "Me too. Thanks, Seamus."  
"You're welcome." Seamus said.  
"Right, time to rehearse." Ron said. "We can't walk out of this room without being able to reel this off without scripts."  
"We've got it, Ron." Dean said reassuringly.  
"Yeah, don't worry about us." Seamus replied.  
As it turned out, the three of them, especially Ron, rose to the occasion and had the scene nailed down to the point that they could do first-class renditions of it without scripts after just four rehearsals. Of those four, Ron had done only the first one with his script in his hand. With each successive successful trial run, Ron's confidence in their ability to actually pull off the stunt grew, and he reasoned the same was occurring with Dean and Seamus.  
"…And that's all." Dean said as another classy run-through finished up. He grinned and said, "Oh, that was brilliant!"  
"Any words of advice for tomorrow, O Fearless Leader?" Seamus asked.  
"Yes." Ron said, chuckling slightly as Dean and Seamus gave him their attention. Ron found himself thinking, **Of course I'm tense because Harry and Hermione's romance is at stake and Hermione's life could be at stake as well, but I must confess I love the opportunity to help them out and to take center stage when we have this much of a chance for success.**  
He grinned at Dean and Seamus and said, "I think that grassy courtyard on the 3rd floor would work as a stage. Harry and I always pass through it on our way back from the Quidditch field. I'll try to see if he wants to play some Quidditch to take his mind off matters, and I know it'll be very hard for him to refuse, so meet us at the courtyard. I'll say I want to talk to the two of you once we get there. If he decides to stay with us, we'll wait until he has to use the bathroom or something and then start. If he decides to head elsewhere, I'll give the signal to start right there. And remember, lads, as they say in those American Muggle military movies," He said, "'Failure is not an option.' Whether Hermione Jane Granger lives to become Hermione Jane Potter depends on us. Once again, brilliant job. Now let's get to bed and get some rest for tomorrow."  
"Right." Dean said. "I tell you, Seamus, if we pull this off, I think we can say we pulled off the greatest dramatic performance in Hogwarts history."  
"I agree." Seamus said. "I tell **you**, Dean, Hermione Potter does sound good, doesn't it?"


	5. Act IV: Performance & Confession

Ron woke up the next morning to find Harry, Dean, and Seamus still asleep.  
**Well, here goes. This could be the day Harry and Hermione find each other once and for all,** he thought.  
Twenty minutes later, he was meeting Harry in the common room.  
"Want to play some Quidditch?" Ron asked, thinking, **I hope this works…**  
"Sure." Harry said. "Just let me get my Firebolt…"  
Half an hour later, they were taking turns as Chaser and Keeper trying to beat each other. It got so fun that they continued until sunset, not even taking a break for lunch.  
**Blimey, he's having fun. And yes, I am too, but how am I supposed to have enough energy to perform after this? And how long have Seamus and Dean been waiting?** Ron thought, worrying about if he'd slipped up in his planning.  
"Oy, Harry, do you want to start walking back towards the castle? The sun's going down and I'm starving because we skipped lunch. I know it's not dinnertime yet, but I was thinking about going down to the kitchens for something." Ron called.  
To Ron's relief, Harry turned his Firebolt towards the castle. "Race you with you getting half a minute's head start!"

Later, Ron had to work hard to keep himself steady from the tension as he and Harry headed towards the courtyard. It was a large patch of grassy lawn with many classically-inspired columns around it and a fountain in the center. Beside that fountain, Dean and Seamus had been sitting. Both of them got up as Ron and Harry came into view.  
"Oh, I just remembered I have to talk to Dean and Seamus about something. You can go ahead if you want." Ron said.  
"All right. Thanks." Harry answered.  
"Okay." Ron said. "See you down there."  
As soon as Harry started to walk away, though, Ron gave Dean the thumbs-up and mouthed, "Now!"

Seamus raised his voice. "Come hither, Ron. What was it you told me of today, that our friend Hermione is in love with Signior Harry?"  
Ron strained his ears and heard Harry's footsteps stop and hurry ever so quietly back. He gave Dean another thumbs-up, but Dean had also seen Harry stop and hurry back behind one of the pillars.  
"O, ay!" He said. Then he whispered the 'continue' signal—"Stalk on, stalk on, the fowl sits." He then raised his voice again. "I never did think that lady would have loved any man—well, save Krum and maybe Ron." He finished earnestly.  
Ron shrugged his shoulders. Even though it fit him, that was part of the performance as well.  
"No, nor I," Seamus said, "but most wonderful that she should so dote on Signior Harry, whom she in some outward affairs has seemed positively to abhor."  
He added, "By my troth, my friends, I cannot tell what to think of it, but that she loves him with an enraged affection, it is past the infinite of thought.  
Dean said in mock thoughtfulness, "Maybe she doth but counterfeit."  
Ron exploded at these words. "O Merlin! Counterfeit?" He shouted, prompting Dean and Seamus to whip around and look at him, startled. He finished emphatically, "There was never counterfeit of passion came so near the life of passion as she discovers it."  
Dean approached him and demanded, "Why, what effects shows she?"  
"What effects, Dean?" Ron replied. "She will sit you—you heard Lavender tell you how."  
"How, how, I pray you?" Dean asked in an amazed tone. "You amaze me, I would have thought her spirit had been invincible against all assaults of affection—except Krum's and maybe yours."  
"I would have sworn it had, Dean, especially in these times against Harry." Seamus said. Then he asked Ron, "Hath she made her affection known to Harry?"  
Ron, who had been pleased with the start of the performance but concealed it, shook his head. "No, and swears she never will: that's her torment." He said.  
"'Tis true indeed, so our friend says: 'Shall I,' says she, 'that have so oft encountered him with scorn, write to him that I love him?'" Dean said, grinning, referring to Lavender as "our friend"—such was their plan because Lavender was their source of information about Hermione's status like Hero was for Don Pedro and company in Much Ado About Nothing.  
Ron grinned even more broadly and said, "That she will say when she will begin to write to him, for she'll be up twenty times a night, and there will she sit in her smock 'till she have writ a roll of parchment: Lavender tells us all." He began laughing.  
"Now you talk of a roll of parchment, I can imagine a pretty little jest our friend will tell us of." Dean said, still smiling.  
"O, when she will have writ it, and will be reading it over, she will find 'Harry' and 'Hermione' between the sheet?" Ron was still grinning as well.  
"That." Dean said, nodding.  
"O, she'll tear the letter into a thousand halfpence; rail at herself, that she should be so immodest to write to one that she knew would flout her. 'I measure him', she will say, 'by my own spirit, for I should flout him, if he writ to me, yea, though I love him, I should.'" Ron said.  
Dean raised his voice even higher to almost a roar. "Then down upon her knees she'll fall, weep, sob, beat her heart, tear her hair, pray, curse: 'O sweet Harry James Potter! God give me patience!"  
"Wow." Ron mouthed at Dean as his discreet way of saying, "Nice one."  
"She doth indeed, Lavender says so, and the ecstasy hath so much overborne her (Hermione) that our friend (Lavender) is sometime afeard—as I honestly am—" Seamus said earnestly and gravely, "she will do a desperate outrage to herself: it is very true."  
"It were good that Harry knew of it by some other, if she will not discover it." Ron said.  
"To what end? He would make but a sport of it and torment the poor lady worse." Dean said worriedly.  
"And he should, it were an alms to hex him." Ron said with surprising sincerity. "She's an excellent sweet lady, and, out of all suspicion, she is virtuous—though it doth not always please us."  
"And she is exceeding wise." Dean said in the sort of exasperated-sounding tone one adopts when stating an obvious truth.  
"In everything—" Ron held up his hands with a couple of fingers on either one extended for effect before finishing, "—but in loving Harry."  
"O my friends, wisdom and blood combating in so tender a body, we have ten proofs to one that blood hath the victory." Seamus said sadly. "I am sorry for her, as I have just cause, being her friend and housemate."  
"I would she had bestowed this dotage on me, I would have daffed all other respects and made her half myself." Ron said fervently. "I pray we tell Harry of it and hear what a will say."  
"Were it good, think you?" Seamus asked.  
"Lavender thinks surely she (Hermione) will die; for she says she will die if he lover her not, and she will die ere she make her love known, and she will die if he woo her rather than she will bate one breath of her accustomed crossness." Ron answered.  
"She doth well: if she should make tender of her love, 'tis very possible he'll scorn it, for the man, as you know all, hath had a contemptible spirit as of late." Dean said.  
"He is a very proper man." Seamus said.  
"He hath indeed a good outward happiness." Ron said, nodding.  
"Before God, and, in my mind, very wise." Dean added.  
"He doth indeed show some sparks that are like wit—to say the least." Ron said, chuckling.  
"And I take him to be valiant." Seamus finished.  
"As Gryffindor himself, I assure you," Ron said fervently, "and in the managing of quarrels you may say he is wise; for either he avoids them with great discretion—"  
"—Or undertakes them with a most Christian-like fear." Dean finished.  
"If he do fear God, a must necessarily keep peace: if he break the peace, he ought to enter into a quarrel with fear and trembling." Seamus said.  
"And so will he do, for the man doth fear God, howsoever it seems not in him by some large jests he will make. Well, I am sorry for our Head Girl. Shall we go seek Harry, and tell him of her love?" Ron asked.  
"Never tell him, Ron, let her wear it out with good counsel." Dean said.  
"Nay, that's impossible, she may wear her heart out first." Seamus said sincerely.  
"Well, we will hear further of it by Lavender; let it cool the while. I love Harry well almost as a brother," Ron said very earnestly, "and I could wish he would modestly examine himself, to see how much he is unworthy at the moment so good a lady."  
"Will you walk, you lot?" Seamus asked.

With that, they left the courtyard and turned a corner that they could peek around to watch Harry's reaction.  
All of them, especially Ron, had to hold back smiles until they turned the corner. When they did turn it, though, their faces cracked into broad grins.  
Dean also let out a sigh of relief. "I can't believe we just did that."  
"Neither can I, but it's not as if we performed poorly, is it?" Seamus asked.  
"If he do not dote on her upon this, I will never trust my expectation." Ron said, peeking around the corner. He then turned back to the others and said excitedly, "He's going towards the Charms classroom. Come on!"

They followed Harry until he went inside the Charms classroom. Standing in the center of it, he pulled out a book that had been stuck in his pocket.  
"Blimey." Dean said. "That's Much Ado About Nothing!"  
"My word…" Seamus said.  
"Don't talk like it's bad news, because I've got a feeling it's nothing to worry about." Ron said quickly before motioning them to quiet down.  
Harry had been leafing through the book. Now, just as Ron and company fell silent, Harry began to speak, his voice ringing with profound sorrow.  
"This can be no trick: the conference was sadly borne; they have the truth of this from Lavender. I hear how I am censured: they say I will bear myself proudly, if I perceive the love come from her; they say to that she will rather die than give any sign of affection. They say the lady is fair—'tis a truth, I can bear them witness; and virtuous—'tis so, I cannot reprove it. They seem to pity the lady: it seems her affections have their full bent. But **love me?**"

"Why, it must be requited!" Ron said, and he stepped into the room with Dean and Seamus behind them. As they entered, the room brightened up as if an electric light had been flicked on inside.  
"Ron?" Harry asked. "Dean? Seamus?" There was no trace of fury, only fear.  
**Now's my chance to stop his eruptions, **Ron thought.  
"Look," He said meaningfully, "I don't deny that Hermione was wrong to act that way, but I honestly think she's had enough. You should have heard her crying last night—we could hear her all the way up in our dormitory, Harry. It was simply heartrending."  
Harry took a few moments, but then nodded as he found that Ron's eyes were not moving from meeting his. It was then his turn to cry.

Ron didn't know whether to feel pride that they'd gotten through to Harry or pity that Harry had started weeping. Dean, however, smiled.  
"Sweet Hermione!" He said. "Now her image doth appear in the rare semblance that thou loved it first, doth it not?"  
"Yeah, it does." Harry managed to say through his tears and sobs.  
"No shame in crying, Harry." Ron said. "Let it out."  
He, Dean, and Seamus took seats beside Harry on one of the long desks large enough for four or five students apiece.  
"Hang on, I've got something that will put a little spring back in your step." Ron said, and he pulled an unopened bottle of butterbeer out, uncapped it, and passed it to Harry, who took it gratefully and downed almost half of it in one grateful swig.  
"Thanks, you lot." Harry said slightly more clearly. Ron could see that he had stopped crying.  
"So you actually fancy Hermione?" Dean said.  
"Yes." Harry said with a surprising lack of reservation. "How'd you know?"  
"We figured." Seamus said. "Or, more accurately, Ron figured."  
Ron nodded. "I mean, with all that I saw—her kissing you on the platform and giving you that look, you wanting to save her from the troll, her always trying to keep you out of trouble, you never saying anything bad about her—it was completely obvious. It stuck out more than a sore thumb dipped in undiluted bubotuber pus."  
Everyone laughed at the last remark.  
"Are you sure you're okay with this, Ron?" Harry asked, anxiety creeping back into his voice. "I know you had been fancying Hermione yourself. After all, 'friendship is constant in all other things save in the office and affairs of love.' And I must admit, I thought 'she were an excellent wife' for you."  
"Oh, Harry, come off it. I'm perfectly fine with it! The only thing that will top this is when I find my special lass!" Ron exclaimed.  
"I don't think you've got much farther to search because of how you've been watching Lavender over the past few months." Harry said, starting to laugh again and making the others laugh again as well.  
"Thanks, Harry. The point is, I do like Hermione a lot, but 'O lord, my lord, if we were but a week married, we would talk ourselves mad.'"  
Everyone laughed again. Suddenly, though, Ginny burst into the room.

"Ron! Dean! Seamus!" She yelled. "I saw your performance in the courtyard—it was brilliant! I just came down here to let you know that if you want to talk to Hermione to try and complete the repairs, she'll be in the trophy room in 20 minutes!"  
"Right." Ron said.  
"Thanks, Ginny." Harry said, smiling at her.  
"Good luck." Ginny whispered, smiling back and giving a thumbs-up to the four of them.  
Once she had left, Ron turned to Dean and Seamus.  
"I don't know about you, but I think it's time for an encore."


End file.
